Monthly Archives: May 2012

The Truth

I’ve said it before and I’m not ashamed to say it again, I’ve watched a lot of television growing up. It has taught me things that I might not have received through other means. I have heard in recent years a catch phrasethat has bothered me for quite some time. It is because I cannot reconcile it with what I know to be true. The phrase that I am referring to is, “Stand in your own truth.”

truth

truth (Photo credit: Erick-Pardus)

Let me say this up front. I understand that this speaks to living as much of an authentic life as you know how. The trouble I have is that many people in the world assume that everyone can have their own personal truth about everything. In other words, there is no absolute truth. To assume that there are no absolute truths is to be absolute in your view that there are no absolutes.

If truth is relative, then everyone lives according to their own perceptions. The problem with that is that our perceptions are skewed by our human failings. Our wisdom is tainted like yeast in a loaf of bread. We have tunnel vision and an astigmatism. It’s as though we are like a race horse that has blinders on, but also a thin veil has been lowered preventing the little bit of sight we do have.

Christ said that he is “The Truth.” The bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth. The amazing thing about that simple statement is that the Holy Spirit, which is the third part of the triune Godhead, He still operates under the authority of The Father. Christ is Truth incarnate, but The Spirit adheres to the Set order. I could go deeper into that part alone, but that’s a topic for another time.

We need to come to the realization that apart from Christ we cannot know truth. It is even the Spirit that even makes possible for us to receive truth. It is so astonishing to think that in saying, “Stand in your own truth,” you are actually standing in a position that is lower than the position that God would have you to stand in. God’s thoughts and ways are far above our own. That can be scary because we then say to ourselves that it is unobtainable or even sustainable. The awesome part about it is that He gave us his righteousness to stand in. He even told us to seek Him and His righteousness first, that we might know how to operate.

When we live in the absolute truth that God designed us to live in, from the foundation of our creation, we then not only exhibit what God intended, it becomes our own truth to stand in. When we can live according to His truth, then the ability to stand becomes personal through our individual personality.

QUESTION: What is your thoughts regarding standing in your own truth?

Tagged , , , , , , ,

God and Psychobabble

I’ve had a most interesting journey into the world of Psychology recently with this book that I was blessed to review. Kathy Martin is a most respected Doctor in her profession, and has used her faith to bring revelation and truth to an arena where most might be compelled to scoff. In her book God and Psychobabble she delineates truth from fiction, showing how our own Psychobabble messes up not only our horizontal relationships with people, but also our vertical relationship with God.

You’ll want to read this if you or someone you love is struggling with codependency, depression, fears. If unrealistic expectations are the order of your day, this book is for you. If your ministry includes periodic counseling, or you have the responsibility of leading, mentoring or want to be able to better speak to the issues of those around you, then this book is for you.

I have found this book to be very insightful, especially in light of the fact that my own wife has dealt with depression throughout her life. It has given me tools that I did not have and a better perspective on things. It has even confirmed things I believed and revealed things about myself that I had not considered previously. Come to terms with your own psychobabble with this book.

 

 

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this E-Book free from the publisher through Destiny Image Book Review Program. <http://www.destinyimage.com> Book Review Program. I was required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Wedded Bliss?

Who are we kidding? When you hear the words, “wedded bliss,” What comes to mind? Do you envision a horse drawn carriage, with the happily and newlywed couple aboard trotting off into the sunset, to live out their perfect lives? Does the image that come to you appear like a pristine Norman Rockwellportrait?

OURs... to fight for Freedom from Want is a co...

OURs… to fight for Freedom from Want is a color lithograph created in 1942 by Norman Rockwell and published in the Saturday Evening Post as part of a series illustrating the “Four Freedoms.” The aim of the series was to promote the buying of war bonds by Americans during World War II. Copyright held by the Curtis Publishing Company. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The reality when it comes to marriage is that a good one takes effort. A great marriage is worked at and reworked throughout the life of the two involved in it. I know I have spoken about this to a point in another post, but there are some things can bear repeating.

  • Your Spouse Will Get Older: Depending on what age your spouse is when you marry, you’ll go through several phases with them. Those phases, if not prepared for will make for difficult days. Biological, physiological, and psychological changes can’t always be seem coming ahead of time like the road markers on the highway, but they can be approximated. Saying the right thing at the right time can make your spouse’s day.
  • Additions and Subtraction Bring Changes: Jobs, children, and other things that come and go can be devastating and will definitely test the mettle of your relationship. Handling the transitions will add miles to sustaining a happy life.
  • Dreams and Goals are Altered: With a changing global community and economy, it becomes imperative to stay abreast of your spouse’s potentially changing aspirations. The bible tells us that two can only walk together if they are agreed. Division in your marriage interests  can become the quickest way to lose someone.

If you do the necessary observations and maintain a good strategy for watching for clues, you’ll see things can be smoother than if you have expectations of things being blissful running on autopilot. Bliss is as much a fantasy as the fairy tales you used to read as a child.

Commit to working at having a good marriage of you don’t have one. If it’s good, commit to making it better. If you have a great one, commit to maintaining it. Anything worth having is worth the effort to keep it. Build your marital legacy one day at a time. The time you invest in it will pay astronomical dividends over the course of many generations.

QUESTION: Do you believe that wedded bliss just happens? How do you achieve it?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Check the Vertical

Despite my wife’s teasing, I’m really not that old. However, I have spent quite a considerable amount of time in front of the “boob tube.” While many shows that I was a fan of in my youth had their initial run long before I was born, they were like new to me because of syndication. Shows like Leave It to Beaver and The Andy Griffith Showwere among my many favorites. Another show that I liked was probably a favorite simply because of its intro.

RCA Indian Head Test Card ca. 1940 Русский: Ст...

RCA Indian Head Test Card ca. 1940 Русский: Старая телевизионная тестовая сетка, разработанная инженерами компании RCA в 1939 году (широко использовалась вплоть до широкого распространения цветного телевидения). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Outer Limits created such drama and awe because they were delving into subject matter that was not the norm. It was one of the first in a new genre of entertainment production. So when you heard that opening line, “Do not adjust your sets. We control the Horizontal. We control the vertical,” you perked up, because you realized that unlike most times when something that was interfering with how your television set normally functioned, this was not one of those times.

Yet, so often when our lives are out of control or not functioning as we expect, we don’t do a self-diagnostic to see why things are not as they should be. And if we do, we presume from the start that it hasn’t been the horizontal rather than checking the vertical. Oddly enough, time and again the bible tells us that when things are out of alignment, we should direct our attention to the owner’s manual for what to do, because the manufacturer of all knows how something should work, because he built it.

Checking out our vertical relationship with God first most often enables us to straighten out our life’s picture; both horizontally as well as vertically. When things begin to get fuzzy, and full of interference from things that shouldn’t normally affect our normal routine, we need not be afraid to say that we don’t know the answer to the problem.

While most of us may not be savvy enough to operate today’s televisions or even able to understand the manuals that the manufacturers have included with them, we haven’t change. What’s even better is that God has enabled us to have easier to understand manuals so that we can more easily get our own life’s pictures back to proper functionality. Get your vertical relationship back. You’ll find that in doing that one simple thing can have a major effect on clarity, perception, and vibrancy. Your life will be sharper and properly aligned.

QUESTION: How often do you check your vertical relationship to straighten out your life’s picture?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It Comes at a Cost

When I was in the process of courting my wife, she would often warn me about certain things about herself; her flaws, her past relationships, her hang ups and anything else that she though I should know about her. It was her idea to give me all of the ugly truths that she thought I might want to know before getting too depending into our relationship.

Baggage Dept

Baggage Dept (Photo credit: Noël Zia Lee)

 

My usual reply every time she did this was, “I signed up for this.” The point behind this was to basically say that there was nothing that she could possibly bring up that could be to big or bad to warrant my leaving her. Whatever baggage or issues she had, I was willing to deal with them and work through them with her because I had chosen to love her unconditionally.

 

Too often we find that many relationships don’t last or stand the tests of time simply because people lack the understanding that when they utter those three little words, “I love you,” that those words carry weight. The best things in life may indeed be free, but the reality of the matter is that love comes with a cost. To say that you love someone means that you are putting your heart on notice that it will and must suffer, endure, and bear many things.

 

Love requires sacrifices that most don’t really fathom. Many never think about the family history or the relational experiences that form the other person’s emotional baggage. So when the heat gets a little too hot, the mind takes over where the heart gave up and says, “Head for the nearest exit,” instead of, “I’m in this to win it.”

 

  • Suffers Long: Like Christ whose passion lead him to suffer the atrocities of all those hours that he hung on the cross, we too will often be called to face great pains for the sake of the one we love. Some things don’t come with an expiration date. You suffer as long as it takes because you’ve placed a value on your connection to that person.
  • Endures All: Love demands that you will endure. Your call to endure demonstrates the definition of unconditional. You attach no strings to your relationship. This requires patience. It’s seldom easy, but always rewarding.
  • Bears All: The weights and burdens of others were meant to be shared in a relationship. When one becomes heavy, the other steps in to make sure that they do not break under the pressure of it.

 

It is not enough to say, “I love you.” Love is a verb, and that means actions are involved. People need to see your love before they will accept that you say it. The cost of love is high. Are you willing to pay the price that love demands of you? If your answer is yes, then you are almost home free.

 

 

QUESTION: Are the relationships you hold dear worth the cost?

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Getting Rid of Toxins

I tend to watch people who tout the benefits of certain things to better our lives. I often hear physical fitness trainers and other health proponents spout off the litany of reasons for why you should make detoxificationa regular part of your health regimen, especially now as I am into that unique position of being in the over forty crowd.

A Marine of the United States Marine Corps run...

A Marine of the United States Marine Corps runs through a creek. Original caption: “Lance Cpl. Anthony M. Madonia emerges from the water during the swimming portion of the triathlon. Marines and Sailors of Marine Security Company and the Naval Support Facility in Thurmont, Md., participated in the Catoctin Mountain Triathlon, July 20.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

As an American man of African descent, we are among the highest in the area who suffer from anything related to both prostate and colon cancer. As a person that lives with Sickle Cell Disease, we are even at greater risks for things such as liver, kidney and heart related; not to mention the potential for toxic blood from the many transfusions that we may have throughout our lives.

 

What we don’t often hear from people however, is about dealing with the other toxins that plague all of our lives. We seldom hear about the toxic thoughts, people, and actions that are so prevalent in and around us that do just as much, if not more to sicken and impair us from living a vibrant and the abundant life that Christ said we ought to have.

 

  • Toxic Thoughts: There are many thoughts that go through our minds every day that cripple our creativity and ability to function at our best. Those thoughts hinder our relationships, performance, and dreams of better things. If we don’t deal with the toxic thoughts that inundate us, we become impotent to do anything. Our strength is removed just as quickly as Samson’s was when he lost his hair. Replace those toxic thoughts with better and higher thoughts that will build you up.
  • Toxic People: There is nothing worse than being surrounded by people who are simply not good for you. Toxic people are draining for your emotions and your will power to resist temptations. Toxic people stop your flow and progress. Removing them from your life will get you back into the groove of things.
  • Toxic Actions: The worst thing about toxic actions is that they have a way of immediately halting your life. It’s stifling to know that something you did contributed to a crucially and critically detrimental outcome. They have a way of leading you nowhere faster than anything else. Getting a grip on your actions will have you feeling lighter on your feet and on top of your game.

 

Getting rid of these toxins from your life are just as vital to your wellbeing as any of the other toxins that you would consider worth purging from your body. You’ll be refreshed, renewed, and revived. Take control of these areas and see how the results flow over into other areas you didn’t know could be better as well.

 

QUESTION: What are your best practices for dealing with the toxins that plague your life?

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Gluttony: The Indulgence of Appetites

We live in a day where so many things are readily at our fingertips. We have access to just about everything that one could possibly imagine. Because of this, we have become a society that is literally a gluttonous generation. Yet, when most people think of the word gluttony, what comes to mind most often is gluttony of food and alcohol. Webster defines gluttony as being, “greedy or excessive indulgence.” I’d like to go one step further in defining gluttony as being an indulgence in selfishness.

Pieter Bruegel the Elder - Gula (Gluttony) - W...

Pieter Bruegel the Elder – Gula (Gluttony) – WGA3541 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Very few people consider that there would be other forms of gluttony. I would say that another way of looking at gluttony would have to be in the area of hoarding. Sure some will say they are collecting or storing things up, but it is usually kept with no intention of ever being shared with anyone else.

The bible clearly speaks to this issue warning against the perils of storing up treasures that can become corrupt. It also speaks to the futility of gaining the world at the risk of one’s own soul. In this Information Age, it is obvious that many are doing just that. Many are losing the their souls because they are foolishly attempting to glean endless amounts of information and hoard a wealth of other things with no thought of sharing it or passing it on.

The sad fact of the matter is that the tangible things that people excessively amass cannot be taken with them when they die. I’ve heard stories about people who have placed in their wills that they wanted to be buried with their possessions, but that is so useless.

The truly tragic thing is to die and take the wealth of wisdom and information to your grave. There are many who would look to us to share the wisdom that dwells within us. Robbing them of our wisdom is to cheat them out of time that could have been saved in processes,  as well as prevention of errors.

I once heard someone say that, “revelation without application leads to spiritual constipation.” This is so true. Many people fill up on such weighty things that are rich and filling; yet their lack to act or even share what was received stagnated them from growing and moving. Maturity is the ability to not keep things locked up and hidden, but the ability and wisdom to be responsible in when, where, why, how and with whom to share it.

If we are meant to live a life that is both built upon leaving a legacy and create generational transfer, then selfish indulgence cannot be the call we answer to. Jesus instructed the people when he prepared them for service to only take what was needed for that day’s journey, for God was a provider who could care and supply all their needs.

God is a God that knows all and will make the necessary provisions because he cares. Whatever you have need of, take what is necessary for the journey you are on and God will both provide and multiply all that is required for your assignment. Don’t indulge your appetites to the point of gluttony. Once you reach your fill, love enough to share.

QUESTION: Have you ever seen the affects of gluttony around you or within you? How do you handle it when you see it?

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Permanent Markers

Such a novel and unique invention. So many potential uses that this ingenious tool has been used for. They can be used for anything like labeling that cardboard box you packed to move or ship, or they can be used to create works of art such as can be found in the medium of graffiti. Permanent markers have the ability to leave an indelible markwherever they are used.

Sanford King Size Permanent Marker.

Sanford King Size Permanent Marker. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We aren’t so different from that modest creation. Isn’t it interesting that permanent markers only require three simple components to be considered a permanent marker? We too have three components that give us the potential for leaving a permanent imprint on the world in which we live. We are spirit, soul, and body. Our souls are composed of our mind, will, and emotions. What we do with those components has the ability to enable us to create or destroy.

Our Minds: The mind is capable of performing millions of operations simultaneously for us, as it sends messages throughout our body. Our minds are able to conceive limitless creations. When people come together and put their minds together, the ability to create is multiplied exponentially. From the creation of the first wheel to the most complex theories in physics, our minds are amazing instruments with the capacity to phenomenally shape cultures and civilizations. Those that use their minds in such a way leave a permanent marker that cannot be erased.

Our Will: Our will do unimaginable things and go to the furthermore regions create for us the driving force to deal with insurmountable odds, even when they are so obviously stacked against us. Revolutions occur when the will for change outweighs the the desire to tolerate the status quo. Without a strong will, Apartheid, the Holocaust, and American slavery might still be the norm of the day. Those revolutions and the ones with the will to evoke them leave a mark on history that is undeniably etched in our collective memories.

Our Emotions: Our emotions give us the sensitivity to sympathize and empathize with situations that occur all around us, creating a tapestry of works that can be observed in the simplest to the most complex mediums. Art, music, architecture, medicine, and a host of humanitarian actions are birthed out of our ability to relate to the struggles and situations that happen all around and within us.

When we come to grips with our unique make up, we have an amazing fortitude to use everything we’ve been blessed with to leave a permanent marker on the world we live in. A wise man one said, “When I die, will it have mattered that I lived?” Ask yourself that same question as you go through your day today. Can you see yourself leaving a permanent mark on the world? Will the mark you make be positive or negative?

In reality, the invention known as the permanent marker isn’t entirely permanent. However, we can have a permanent impact on our world if we use what God has given us in such a way that even as he told Abraham, “I will make your name great.” A good name is to be desired.

QUESTION: What will your mark be; permanent or temporary?

Tagged , , , , , , ,

As the World Churns

There has been much brouhaha over the recent cover photo on Time Magazine. The controversy over breastfeeding is not a new debate, but it is increasingly becoming a focal point as the push to promote healthier children and create a social acceptance for it in public venues also increases. While many here in the United States have been psychologically programmed into the opinion that weaning babies within a year or two is the appropriate timeframe, there is much to be said for cultures that have historically breastfedfor longer periods.

Breastfeeding symbol

Breastfeeding symbol (Photo credit: Topinambour)

Few will question the health benefits for children that are breastfed, as it has been proven to boost a child’s intelligence, immune system, increased absorption of vitamins and minerals, and it also creates a greater resistance to allergens. For mothers, it lowers risks of breast cancer. The real controversy really revolves around the socialization and psychological effects that many of that community believe are created by those of the same opinion that it is unacceptable for longer feeding practices.

In some cultures, the longer feeding time allowed for stronger ties between mother and child, as these are the years when a mother typically spends nurturing the child, instilling domestic skills and sharing family social etiquette. Many of these time honored traditions are lost on present day civilizations thanks to in part the high pressure demands of jobs and feminism which has in many ways, at times made women to feel as though they ought not embrace their femininity in order to fit in a male dominated labor force.

As women have been increasingly pulled away from the maternal bonds with their children, there has been a steady decline that is apparent in the way that children now behave in public. While it is true that father’s typically were the disciplinarian in the home, it was time with mom that built culture in them so that when the children began to interact with others within the community they knew what was appropriate.

Another reason this topic has evoked such virulent emotions is that there is this thought that to feed children or to display it the way it has been done in Time Magazine, is that it will somehow create some sense of serialization of the practice. Again, this is only an issue among those who are unaware of cultures that do feed longer. While depicting it in such a way so openly on the front cover might cause those who have a propensity towards deviant behavior to become aroused, this natural act is by no means something to be ashamed of.

Stronger children that have stronger ties to their parents are more likely to have greater and stronger memories of their relationships with parent and of their childhood. It is also quite possible that it could enable those same children to have a greater desire to care for aging parents because of those same strong ties that were formed in those critical early years.

Since there hasn’t been an extensive study done by any particular group in the scientific community, much of this is completely speculative. It would truly be interesting to see over the next generation or two what the parallel differences there actually are between what we have determined as an appropriate length of time for breastfeeding versus cultures that do breastfeed longer.

QUESTION: What concerns do you have regarding both breastfeeding and this photo that has stirred such a frenzy?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Retirement: Where Many Go to Die

 

I was once of the opinion when I was younger that I wanted to be one of those people who could actually say that I retired early. So many people in the ’80′s and ’90′s were doing just that as they found their wealth in the explosion of the dotcom era in Silicon Valley. I could see myself leaving the work force around 40 with a fat 401k retirement accountwith enough to sustain my lifestyle for the remaining time I thought I would live.

retirement

retirement (Photo credit: 401K)

The facts remain though that many people had the same view years ago and are finding themselves in serious financial woes that have not only tarnished the dreams of the good life they thought they would have, it has caused deep resentment for those that love and care for them.

There was a time when a man could look forward to the day when they had put in sufficient time laboring on the daily grind, get a gold watch and a hefty pension that would be enough for them and their wife to live off of. Yet as we moved further along into the Information Age, the rules of life and work began to change. What’s worse is that people’s reasons for retiring changed, so then people began to retire younger and younger. With that, what has happened is that you found people were dying almost immediately after they retired; some within 6-24 months.

One critical error that many make when it comes to retiring, whether it be early or at the normal time, is that many do not live a life with purpose or meaning. Have you ever heard the saying, “Get a life?” Many fail to have a life worth living while we’re working, so when retirement does come up, they can’t figure out what to do with their life once they have all this “free time” to do all the things they imagined for themselves. So then they literally die from boredom.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating; “I may be out of a job, but I’m never without a work.” What I mean by this is that regardless whether or not I am working the traditional 9-5career focused job, my life is not solely the job that I work. My life has both purpose and meaning. So many have made their job their life, so when time comes to leave it behind, they lose themselves in the process and become lost for what to live for. But when you understand that life is more than that thing you do to make money, you then find that there really is no such thing as retirement; you’re simply transitioning from one area of your life’s purpose to another.

You simply have to know why you want to retire and what you are retiring to. God meant for us to work. Work doesn’t end just because we grow older. It is simply meant to change and transition. What we are meant to do is change our roles from one thing to the next as we go from one stage in life to another. The bible shows how it was intended that the elders taught the younger, because they had acquired much knowledge. That creates continuity, posterity and legacy. Generational transfer is always needed from growth and consistency.

Don’t retire to a slow and meaningless death. Continue to wake up each morning with a fresh sense of purpose for living. I intend to live and retirement is not the plans for me. I may be out of a job, but I’m never without a work.

QUESTION: Do you struggle with the thoughts of whether retirement fits your life? How do you view what retirement looks like?

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,175 other followers

%d bloggers like this: