Recently, my twelve year old and two year old daughters both came down with a nasty virus. As a parent, you hope to be prepared for everything. You remember how it was for you as a child when you got sick, and your mom (in most cases) took care of everything. As a father, you kind of feel powerless to do anything because nurturing doesn’t typically come easy for us, especially when it involves cleaning up the things that viruses tend to bring out.
This reminded me of a book I am currently reading. In it, it speaks about how depression can creep in when we feel we can’t control the things that go on around us. How amazing is it, that a moment of being out of control can drive us down a path that can lead us to depression?
While this momentary loss of control has not actually put me in a position of feeling depressed, I must admit that I recognize moments in my life where I see how control issues have affected me. It is amazing to think how much of a need we have to be in control. As Christians, we surrender our control to allow God will to supercede our own. When you’ve been in the driver’s seat for a considerable amount of time and in control of things, it can be quite terrifying to give up that control to another. But who better than an all powerful, all knowing, all loving and ever lasting God would you rather relinquish your control to?
In as much as I know that my children need me and love me and desire to be around me, I know there are moments that my wife is better suited to handle. I can rest assured that when she is in nurturing mommy mode, things are well under control.
I’ve learned a lot of life lessons growing up through watching television, and one lesson I have gained comes from watching the sports entertainer Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. As his wrestling persona he coined the catch phrase, “Know your role, and shut your mouth.” This works on so many levels and in practically every arena of my life. When it comes to my family during times of sickness, this means I jump in where I fit in, and wait until things are settled enough for me to interact with them again.
In business, it means that I don’t try to be what I am not or overstep my boundaries. There are times when things are a team initiative and times when things are meant to operate according to a hierarchy. One thing that my wife says quite often is that, “you can’t want something more than the person whose role it is.” So often she does business coaching and consulting. She is a great strategist. The one thing she runs into is people who want to develop their businesses or church connectivity. Yet, she often wants their success more than they do. Finding that line of when and how soon to give up control becomes the goal to prevent problems for both parties involved.
Resolve the need to have to be in control of everything in your life today. You will find that in your ability to give up control here and there, that there are things that are better suited for others, and there is a weight of pressure that is lifted from your shoulders that you weren’t meant to carry or shouldn’t have picked up in the first place.
QUESTION: How has moments and feelings of being out of control impacted your life?
- You Don’t have to Suffer from Depression for One More Stinkin’ Minute. (elephantjournal.com)
- The Things You Can Control. (sassanista.wordpress.com)
- Father’s Day is Every Day – Taylor Boy (itsandnotor.com)
- Fatherhood (ellinicholas.wordpress.com)
- Way # 1: Gender Mentality (kswm.wordpress.com)
- Fatherhood (thoughtsfromacatholic.wordpress.com)