How to Redefine an Open Relationship

It has always amazed me to see and hear people talk about how they have chosen to get into an “open relationship.” The idea for many is that, since I’ve had little or no success with finding someone who will be faithful, give them freedom to do what they apparently will do anyway and it won’t hurt as much because both involved have agreed to it.

A is for Access

A is for Access (Photo credit: Ben Zvan)

OPEN DOOR POLICY: Businesses use this as a means of saying that the lines of communication are open at any time for open, honest and raw discussion. There was a time when whatever came down the pipe from the top was what had to be accepted. The open door policy allows for reason and seeing varied points of view that may not have been considered at the time that a decision was made. Often through this, better resolutions are found.

However, having an open door policy does not have to mean accepting any and everything that comes into the door. Having an open door simply means anything goes. The expectation is that there’s no harm and no foul because you’re allowing it. Yet, without any barriers or filters, you’ve not only opened yourself to be hurt, but the pain of anything that comes by removing all barriers.

CLOSING THE DOOR: Closing the door on your open relationship may not be as easy as it was to open it. As with any relationship, communication is key. The whole reason corporations have open door policies is to keep the lines of communication open. Talking about your concerns with the person with whom you are in a relationship with about those things that have been an issue for you in the past, and not dismissing them as a point of escape, but rather finding ways to strengthen the connection between you so that you reduce and even eliminate the potential for repeating past problems will go a long way to closing the door on the things you fear.

Sex, trust and finances are the primary things that get in the way of almost every relationship. If these issues aren’t dealt with, they open the door to the very thing that most really want to avoid from the start. If you are willing to face it head on, you may find that you have no reasons or desire to open that door.

QUESTION: What are your best practices for keeping the door to your relationship closed?


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