This or That

I’ve watched my share of reality shows over the last several years. There are no end to the number of dating shows, whereby someone can get advice, or help finding the person that they hope will become the one that he or she can spend the rest of their life with. There were the game shows of years gone by like The Dating Game, in which a man or woman would have the choice of dating one of the three people hidden on the other side of the wall.  There are the new shows like Baggage, which similarly gives a man or woman the choice of determining whether or not the three people put before them have an acceptable amount baggage worth dealing with.

The Dating Game

The Dating Game (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Of course, you also have the wide array of matchmaking shows; from the Bachelor and BacheloretteTough LoveMillionaire Matchmaker, Ready for Love and most recently Find Me My Man. These are but a few of the many shows that are currently revealing the fallacies and foibles that men and women have in getting them from first date to their happily ever after.

One of the things that has consistently stood out to me is the number of people that approach dating, whether it is on one of these shows, or in their normal everyday life; there is this overwhelming issue of many who claim they are seeking a quality mate, yet there is a perpetual leaning towards the opposite of that which they state they desire. I have in years gone-by called it the This or That Girl Syndrome, though over the course of my life I have found that it is not exclusive to women only.

This or That syndrome is the definitive depiction of insanity in action. It is said that insanity is, “the doing of the same thing over and over with the expectation of a different result.” People who suffer from this syndrome are those who refuse to step back and clearly evaluate what isn’t working, and then changing what hasn’t worked for something different. Much of this can be attributed to fear of being vulnerable enough to become a better you or the real you. Some can be as a result of not seeing one’s own worth, or the value in going contrary to that which may be popular.

Facing demons and reaching for the high thing isn’t always easy, but it’s part of the adventure in obtaining the prize. There is no greater appreciation one may have for a gift than when there has been real effort put into choosing it, and the sacrifice made to acquire it. It is believed that the fruit at the top of the tree is sweeter than that which has fallen to the ground. Fruit that is fallen is easy to come by, but rarely of quality.  Fruit that you have to put effort to stretch and reach for, makes you rise to be a better you in the process.

QUESTION: Will you sacrifice to become who you need to be in order to find the one you truly desire?


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