One of the biggest complaints that often come up in dating circles is that there are no good men around. This has led so many women to lower their standards, settle for less than they desire, or give up in many instances on the dream of being one with a potential husband. In some cases, the reality is that a bad previous experience in dating or courtship can leave a bad taste in the mouth and essentially cause you to put up barriers preventing that good man from coming close. There are some key indicators that you may in fact be getting in your own way of being pursued.
- A Cold Shoulder: Attitude and how you present yourself to others plays a major role in how you will be received. If you come off as standoffish, cold, or callous, a man is less likely to approach you unless he really wants to challenge himself. If you’re thinking that playing hard-to-get is an attempt at reverse psychology, it’s more likely that you’re defeating your own purpose.
- A Placeholder: Whether you’re dating Mr. Wrong or surrounding yourself with a bunch of besties, placeholders like them can prevent that good man from having the chance needed to get to know you.
If you’re serious about allowing yourself to be pursued by Mr. Right, at some point in time, you are going to have to drop your defense mechanisms or change your rationales for why you’re keeping him at bay. It’s true that a man loves the thrill of the hunt, but his pursuit of you should be like uncovering a lost treasure, not the quest to find the lost city of Atlantis.
When the author of Proverbs 31 asked the question, “who can find a virtuous woman”, it was in the context of how rare and precious of a find she truly was, not that she had to literally had to keep from being noticed or found. He who finds a wife, according to King Solomon, was to find a good thing. The wisdom he was sharing was that a man finds favor from God because she is such an asset to him, because she makes him better than he could ever be on his own.
If you have some reservations about allowing yourself to truly be pursued, choose to take small steps towards that goal if it truly is your hearts desire. This may involve seeking wise council from someone you trust, like a pastor, therapist, parent, or friend. It may involve establishing some parameters for how you allow yourself to be pursued by that potential someone. Whatever the case may be, know that change isn’t change, until you’ve changed.
QUESTION: What are some ways in which you can consider to allow yourself to be pursued?
- Proverbs 7 vs Proverbs 31 woman (ehrns2.wordpress.com)
- How Obvious Should A Girl Be? (lifeattwentysomething.com)
- Men- Do you know how to Court? (communicate2relate.wordpress.com)