One of the things that I’m learning throughout the course of my life is the power of words and the depths that God went to give purpose meaning to everything that he set forth as a name. When it comes to marriage, God set the standard for relationship between a man and his wife by naming the man “husband”. Many people don’t truly know the depths of the meaning behind this, and fewer dare to even ask the question, because they assume it’s either apparent, or ignore it as just a word of simple classification. The problem with that is that God never does anything without purpose.
When God names something, what he names it is to be its identification. When He made man in His image, He made sure that He named him something that would denote to all of creation that man was something special and something sharing a unique relationship with Him. It is no different when we see in the book of Genesis, when man is first identified in the third chapter as husband, that was to denote a man’s true purpose in the context of a marital relationship.
Although we don’t see it plainly, it is evident in Hebrew word “‘iysh“. When translated, it means man, husband, servant, a person (in contrast to God), champion, a great man. In the context of marriage, simply put, a husband is” His Band” for the marital relationship.
We see in each of the words that define a husband, that he is meant to be “a great man”. Part of being a great man is in how he relates to his wife, both before God and before people as a representation of God’s image of the type of relationship God desires to have with us. When as a husband, we love our wives in the way Christ loves the Church, we demonstrate the depth of love God has for us. In that great love, which is so sacrificial, we make a priority of the needs of our wives. This doesn’t come easy as humans, but when we allow His Spirit to lead and guide us, His will supersedes our desire to fulfill our own needs first.
We also see that a husband is meant to be a servant. This doesn’t just mean as a servant to God, but it also means as a servant to his wife. It can be tough at times to know exactly how we are to serve our wives, especially if it hasn’t been modeled through others before us, but when we look to Jesus who modeled love to the Church, we see how cared for the Church, showed compassion, prayed for the Church, and even built up the Church. As husbands, there will be times when our wives need to be built up because of all of the things that they have dealt with. Sometimes, these things can go back to times before we even knew them as wife. It is in these times that they gain strength to face things that before could not be handled. Our strength becomes their strength.
When we see the word husband defined as meaning champion, we can see great strength in this to be the defender of the relationship from every outside attack. One of the problems that has been pointed to in scripture is Adams failure to defend Eve in the Garden when Satan came planting a seed of discourse between what she knew as truth and his own lie.
When we look at the word band in the dictionary, it is defined as being “something that binds or restrains legally, morally, or spiritually; a strip serving to join or hold things together.” In other words, as husbands, God expects us to champion the relationship between us and our wives as that which legally, morally, and spiritually holds together the relationship. While many may view this as a heavy burden or excessive, God views it as what He has created us for, and thus capable of fulfilling. We secure and safeguard our marriage from everything that would dare attempt to negatively influence, tear or come between man and wife.
Isn’t it so interesting that when you get married that the custom is for you to put on a wedding band? So often, when a wedding takes place the bride seems to be the only one who wears the wedding band. The reality is that both the husband and the wife should wear one. It is symbolic to both of the not just of the two joining in the union of matrimony; it also signifies the commitment of covering, protection, and championing of one for the other.
As a man, I’ve never be physically strong, yet there is no length I should not be willing to go to in protecting what God established my marriage to be. Sometimes this might be as great as a direct threat of danger, to as insignificant as a suggestion or lie from our enemy. We defend our wives honor with honor when that honor is threatened. We stand in the way of those who would dare say that they have something to offer them that is perceived as something we cannot provide.
When Satan suggested that he could offer Eve something that she was missing, Adam should have stepped in because he was with her when the temptation was put before her. When Peter began to believe the lie that he would never live up to what Jesus knew was in him, Jesus stepped right in and defended him, built him up and restored him to his rightful place, so that when the day of Pentecost fully came, he could be that rock that stood firm to declare that the age of the Church had come. It is indeed a great endeavor as men to be His-band. However, when we are His-band, we safeguard the image of the identity of a relationship God desires to have with His people.
QUESTION: Do you dare to be His-band in your marriage?