Contending for Your Wife

One of the greatest struggles for me as a husband has been how to resolve the fact that I am not physically strong. As a husband, the thought has always been how would I protect my wife should someone or something threaten her. Recently, that thought has come up again because my wife was approached by a stranger as she was coming home from work. We’ve been without a vehicle for nearly half a year now, which has meant that she has either had to rely on someone to bring her home or walk. While we don’t live far from where she works, it’s still not an ideal thing to do given the time of day when she leaves.

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One of the greatest tragedies for Adam in the book of Genesis is that he failed to defend or protect Eve when she was confronted by Satan in the Garden. People often forget that Adam was with her when this confrontation occurred. I unfortunately did not have the ability to be with her on this particular incident when my wife was confronted. What’s worse is that her phone was dead, so we couldn’t even talk to one another while she traversed her way from her job to our home.

However, in all that I’ve come to understand as a husband, despite my physical weaknesses, and even my inability to be present in every circumstances, there are yet ways that I can protect and defend my wife. Defending begins with contending. No matter what situation that occurs, I can always contend for my wife in faithful prayer.

Paul the Apostle tells us in his letter to the Corinthians that as Christians, “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal” or of human design. He goes further to say that they are however,  “powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds.” This is great encouragement for someone who might feel the need to be physically strong, because we realize that we don’t have to face our fights in our own strength. Paul would later say again to the Corinthians that, “power is perfected in weakness.” In other words, faithful and fervent prayer becomes a great equalizer for us, and even allows us to be overcomers in battle.

When we as husbands are faithfully contending for our wives in earnest and fervent prayer, we establish a defense around our wives that creates protection for them. God is able to actively be and do what we cannot. Just as He watches over us, He will watch over our wives as well. This is not to say that everything in every situation will always be right as rain, but our willingness to participate through prayerful contending puts us in a position where we essentially remove and restraints on God to show up and be all that He is.

In yielding to the truth that we aren’t all powerful and all capable, that acknowledgement frees us to depend on God in a way that we otherwise would not if we thought that we didn’t need Him. We always need God. Even in those times that we think we are strong enough or good enough, we really aren’t. God is able to reveal Himself in His fullness when we reveal to Him our weakness.

Contending for your wife through prayer should not just be a private thing either, though sometime needful. Actively, and presently contending for your wife is a way of letting her know that you’re concerned about her, her needs, and even those thing that you don’t always have control over. You can’t always manage those moments that become emotional weights for her. You can’t always be there when someone who takes a liking to her approaches her to entice her. You can however, let her hear your heart to know that she matters to you, that you’re there for her, that she can rely on you when there are moments that are out of her control or when she simply feels out of control herself.

Contending for your wife is one of those things that can draw you closer to one another when the rest of the world seems totally out of joint. Dare to contend for your wife. It’s not just a good idea, it’s a good strategy for a good husband who wants his wife to know one way in which he loves her. One thing that I promised myself before I got married was that I’d be the kind of husband who’d pray for his wife daily. My wife may not always see me pray for her, but I do my best to let her know that I am, even when she isn’t aware that I am.

That recent night, I was contending for her when she was on her way home, and I yet prayed the more afterwards, knowing that although she was confronted, God had protected her when I couldn’t be there. Whether or not I’d have been able to physically battle the person who approached her, I’ll never know. What I do know is that I will always remember who has the real power to fight and win.

QUESTION: What are some other ways in which you can contend for your wife? Are there things in which you struggle with when it comes to the thought of contending for her?


  1. Illuminating!

  2. What a beautiful post. It brought to mind a song by Sanctus Real, called Lead Me.
    Let me tell you, this is what woman want!
    Blessing to you and your family. I’m praying God blesses you with a car 🙂

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