How Do You Know If You Matter To You?

There is a scripture that speaks to the idea that we are to love one another in the same manner and degree that we love ourselves. The question that comes to mind for me is how do we know that we love ourselves? When we say that we love ourselves, some might say that this might seem narcissistic. Yet God tells us that there must be, on some level, a love of ourselves that exists first so that we might be able to love someone else. In thinking on this, I have concluded that there are at least three things that will help you to know if you matter to you.

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You Take Time For Yourself: I’ve flown many times in my life, as well as having worked in an airport for over a decade. One thing I can attest to is that I have heard the pre-flight instructions that the flight attendants give to passengers countless times. One of the things that you can be sure will be included is what you should do in case of a loss of cabin pressure. The thing they tell you is most important in a case like that is that you first place the oxygen mask on yourself first; then after you’ve done this, you can proceed to help someone else.

Countless years in aviation have proven that you are no good to others if you are in danger. You must first be in a position to help before you can be effective at helping someone else. There are times when you must place yourself as a priority. Whether that is education, personal, mental,  physical or spiritual health, or any number of things that you might need to be capable of being a support to others.

You Demand Certain Things Of Yourself: You know you matter to yourself if you hold yourself accountable for things that are important. Just as important at taking time for yourself, demanding things of yourself is just as important. You have to say to yourself that some things, no one else is going to care about those things more than you would. Other people will just as easily cut you off than be bothered by someone who doesn’t put a personal demand for their own self. Things such as etiquette, professionalism, and appearance are not just things that others are hoping you possess, but you should desire from and for yourself. The lack of things like them paint you in a bad light.

As a child, my parents always stressed the idea of speaking and writing well. I’ve treasured those words as they have been the things I’ve always been spoken well of by many people that I meet. It feels good to know that the things that I demand of myself are things that others value about me.

You Demand Certain Things Of Others: Something else that I’ve been told by my parents as a young person is that you don’t allow others to treat you any kind of way. To not demand that a person treat you with respect, fairness or common courtesy shows a lack of self-respect and will ultimately teach them that it doesn’t matter to you how they treat you. While trust is something that is often earned, respect is something that can be demanded and commanded. Yet, even in that, you get what you give.

If you can say that these things are things that are a part of your life, it’s quite possible to say that you matter to you. If you love yourself enough to follow through on these three things for yourself, it is also quite possible that you will be more likely to exhibit the care and love of others.


QUESTION: So can you say that you matter to you? If not, what holds you back from that? If so, are there some other things that you can think of that prove that you matter to you?


One comment

  1. Beautifully written.

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