When I asked my guest David Veney to come onto my Blab show L.E.G.A.C.Y. The Blab last night to share his story and his book titled “What Daddy Never Told Me: 7 Conversation Every Parent Should Have With Their Child“, I knew we were going to have a thought provoking discussion on our hands. Little did I know that it would have the level of the impact that it did on the listeners.
From the moment the conversation started, it became electric. As David shared his personal journey from his childhood through to the moments that inspired the book, he poured out revelation after revelation of the impact of those unaddressed conversations, and how the need for having them become so vital to a child. It was impressive to me because I understood that we are in a season now where we must recognize that the time for Malachi 4:6 needs to come to fruition.
As a fellow preacher’s kid, I found myself relating so much to what he was saying, and yet knowing that his experience was not solely a preacher’s kid experience. the difficulties a a child to truly know his/herself, who he/she is becoming, and the legacy he/she carries is so greatly tied to having a real transparent view and relationship with the parent who raises him/her. Getting a hint of those moments of his life brought light to me and listeners who have had different childhood journeys, and yet finding commonality that caused great paused reflection.
We have such great power as parents to give our children every tool that is essential to their maturity, their wellbeing, and their ability to function in a society that is not always the utopia that we’d wish them to know. How much more prepared for life would our children be if they only knew that life isn’t perfect and that parents aren’t perfect, so that they aren’t left feeling as though they have to be perfect or feel less than they are when they don’t measure up to the perfection they think is reality?
What failures do we set up for our children when we don’t train them up in the way they should go, and instead try to recreate a second us through them? What happens when we don’t give them insights to the traps of certain relationships or how to navigate a world that isn’t always just? You can see the impact everyday on the news or shows like Dr. Phil, as children will communicate how things could have been different or should have had a completely different outcome if only their parents had talked openly to the about one thing or another.
It is my hope, in light of our conversation on last night, that people who have a heart for children will turn their hearts to make the lives of children better, whether the have children of their own or know someone who does. I pray that children will have the courage to ask the hard questions of their parents, and that parents will have the greater courage to communicate answers with age appropriate responses to help them understand and not fear what they do not know.
Parents have a great responsibility to model before the child transparency in parenting, wholeness in relationship, the power of legacy, and the protection and provision that is based in love. David has given each of us much to digest, and much more to live up to as parents and children who may or may not know all the answers we’d like to know about who our parents are and our connection to them. If 2016 can symbolize the continuation of the restoration of all things, as many have proclaimed it is, I can only believe that those who read this book and see last night’s discussion will be changed in such a way that it will spark a restoration of families; and with families being restored, I can only imagine what impact that will have for communities and the world.
QUESTION: What conversations do you wish you could have had with your parents? What impact has that had on you so that things are different with your own children?
If you missed last nights show, you can click the following link to see what youl missed.
- L.E.G.A.C.Y. The Blab: Episode #1: LEGACY (apreachaskid.wordpress.com)
- The Dr. Vibe Show™: Live Tonight At 8 P.M. Eastern/5 P.M. Pacific – La Shawn Pagan “The Life Of An Independent Filmmaker” (thedrvibeshow.com)
- A Conversation No Parent Should Have. (beyondtheflow.wordpress.com)